Thu Dec 20 2018

I knew well in advance that I'd be dropping you off at the usual spot, but it didn't hit me until they asked for my signature and I stroked your forehead goodbye that something could go wrong. I didn't know the specifics, but I knew that there was a chance. When I saw all of your yellow hair over my dashboard and remembered how afraid you were in that cage, I thought about everything that makes you you. Instantly, everything that ever bothered me -- your yelp, your football tackle every morning, your razor-sharp teeth and claws -- melted away in the heat of shame. What I would've given to see you sleep peacefully in the moonlight just one more time at that moment. It wasn't until I thought that I would lose you that I realized how much I loved you.

So when the vet called and told me I could come by to get you at any moment, I knew I'd hold you closer.